a trodden altar

The mind- a free wanderer,
Chained by emotion.
Its icarian wings burn.
A leap into the sea-
Unfettered.
A heart in a gloomy vault.
A splendid isolation,
Only not so splendid.
An anchored heart,
It sinks.
The last dregs of the prison,
Called life.
The wind will blow ,
my dreary steps into your eyes;
Welling tears and their overflow.
All will be forgotten soon enough.
An existance wiped clean.

Life in smoke

Smell.

Where can she smell the smell ?

All over you, he chimes in.

Can she smell you on me?

You are all over me.

 Is it what you do to me?

Is it what i do to you?

Does it manifest on my face too,

in the form of colour?

Is it the smell of Death? 

The Death in the everyday?

The Death of everyday? 

It sticks to me;

like you.

A different scent,

selling dreams to the world.

It may mask you,

but not the smell of death,

that i live with everyday. 

Before

The stillness of that memory,

The stillness of that moment

 I wrap it around myself

and let go

The hop and skip in steps

 of my heart

The warmth of your lips against mine,

And then not.

And the ensuing longing.

The bated breath-

As heavy as it gets.

Shatters like a glass-

The stillness.

Your moist breath on my face.

The Anticipation.

The growing proximity.

The expectation.

More Moisture, less silence.

The inhibition dies somewhere in the corner.

I Lean in

And  kiss.

blow hot, blow cold

wind me up
like a stationary spinning top,
and then let me go.
pull me in close,
and then pretend to not know

now.

you cant take me away from me,
and i cant pretend to lay a claim on you.
the hollowness has a sound,
it reverberates through and through.
the silence may visit again if i take my hands off you.

-

wash me away,
into the seas of nothingness,
into the deeps of your despair.
I dont want to rise to the surface,
i dont want to breathe.
wash me away,
so that i can be one with thee.

faceless numbers

I watch you sleeping,

an eerie calm upon your face.

You see me looking at you,

My eyes wide,

Searching you for signs of danger.

You bat your eyelids,

And flash me a smile,

Through those very eyes.

Those charms, ah! Such charms,

They don’t work no more.

My blink less stare,

Makes you realize,

It’s not a dream.

You say something,

You think is sweet.

It constricts my vessels,

Long enough to let me breathe.

Memories, they come rushing in;

Uninvited.

A different bed, a different person

And those “sweet nothings”…

You, a number on the list?

I’ve been here before,

Picked myself up,

And left.

A shirtless back,

No shame, no guilt.

The window beckons.

Sunlight- a ray of hope

To escape?

I’ve been here before,

It’s never hard to leave.

Easy come, easy go.

The warmth of the sun,

On my bare body,

Incomparable,

To that exuded by yours.

The sun tingles at the surface,

You burn me deep within.

But I will shed thee,

Like a skin.

Because it’s never  hard to leave,

a faceless number.

Him

She was running up the stairs on some errand, when he popped in to her head. Just like that.
She stared at his name on her phone screen, resisting the temptation to call. She debated in her head, for what seemed like an eternity, alongside muttering trivialities to her friend. She put the phone back in her pocket, making the brain win the endless heart-brain war.
Yes, it was a war. It always is. For her it was a more profound one than others, an over analyzer that she claimed to be. A few hurried steps and instructions to the self to stop thinking about him.

A sort of resoluteness she hadn’t felt in those endless months of going gaga over him, so much so that the very next moment on bumping into him, she dint realize it was HIM, right there!

 It almost played out in a dream like trance. She flustered for a minute or two, letting her friend do all the talking while she stared.

The sunlight filtered through his off white kurta. She could make out the contours of his chest. The very chest she longed to touch. The slight breeze was more than welcome on that hot summer day. His kurta quivered slightly but not her gaze.

She wished for the moment to go on forever, as much as she cringed at the mention of the word. Nothing else seemed to matter.

But then it ended. Just like that.

She went on, with a hop in her step and a pacing heart, back to her errands.

Your silence speaks to me

Sometimes silence speaks more than words ever will. It has a language of its own; transcending all barriers that this corrupt human race built-barriers of race, class, religion, age, nationality, gender among many others.
You may not be sitting right infront of me or you might as well be, I still cant hear you.No words come out of your mouth.
You dont tell me why you left. You dont say if you'll be back. And when you are, you dont say for how long.
I sit here, unperturbed. I dont need you to tell me. I dont need words. Your silence speaks to me. It keeps me calm. 
Silence has words of its own. They float around my head.
I can feel what you feel. I may not feel the same way but i want you to know that i know.
You dont need to run anymore , not from me and not from yourself. I see you hiding from all that you are unable to confront and i just want to tell you, that i don't need you to tell me. Because your silence speaks to me.

happy endings are hard to come by

You fill me up,

with comforting lies

of told tales,

with happy endings.

one, that ours will never be.

Of warmth in shared blankets,

Of togetherness,

suffixed with forever,

Of waking up next to each other

and kissing without brushing...

Of holding hands,

despite and through the distance,

every single day.

Of crazy fights,

and walking out

on cool summer nights.

Only to look back , teary eyed.

Of glances, stolen across the room

and the redness that ensues

on each cheek.

Of sharing bitefuls of dessert

and shoulders to lean on,

during movie nights...

Ours will never be that story.

Judgement Day

I know fairly well, 

what you do,

in those coveted corners of misery.

even when you call it bliss.

the shameless-shameful face,

that you wear every morning

that tells me a thousand lies

and a milllion truths.

i know what you said,

and i know what you did.

wipe off that blatant smile

from across the mask of happiness

that you wear every night.

because the night will turn to day

and the day will fade out into the night.

and between all this metamorphosis,

your delicate wing of fancy

will be nipped and torn apart.

Undone

wrapped up 

in unspoken lies.

numbing pain

of the many times i cried.

the song of freedom,

left too far behind.

the velvet touch of sympathy

wont suffice.

like sand

from an open palm.

like a spinning top,

out of control.

like an unwound ball

of wool and fury.

i m undone.

dont try  fix me.

unwound,

spinning out of control,

slipping away.

i m undone.

world of another kind

silence of a different kind,

of this mortal world,

but of another kind.

muffled steps tiptoeing

into the mouth

of disaster.

blood, 

mixed with

rage of another kind.

music-less melody

in the 'love' they made.

a gleam of monstrous light

etching their contours

for the eyes to see.

the eyes,

that were blinded with morosity.

faded contours broke apart.

a step back

into the never ending pit.

hell of another world.

fiery demons

that burnt my insides.

disbelief

of this mortal world,

but of another kind.

a second  step 

and i was gone.

the bitterness

clutched tight.

i was gone

into the lies of another kind.